Turkey Ad Infinitum, Ad Nauseum

Happy Shopping

Mood: humble Song: "Give Thanks" After two...count them, TWO Thanksgiving dinners yesterday, I am convinced that I will never be hungry again (thank you, Scarlet O'Hara). My sweetie and I were able to spend Turkey Day together after all, and I couldn't be happier. Every time I see him, I love him more deeply, more passionately than I thought possible. I can't WAIT for May. Then again, there's always Las Vegas. Not that everything's perfect...I discovered this weekend that I have issues (not that those of you who know me didn't already have an awareness of that fact). Thanks be to God, C. and I were able to have some *serious* discussions. It's not necessarily solved, but I realized that I have a pattern of not trusting, based on reasons which are too complex and detailed to get into right now. He doesn't deserve a fiancee who detaches from him, and it frustrates me as well. Pray hard, but know that things are going well right now. Now that Thanksgiving is past for another year (except for turkey leftovers at my aunt's tonight and "Thansgiving part deux at my stepdad's family for Christmas), I have compiled the following and comprehensive list of "gratefuls". More will be added in a clearly untimely fashion: ***the ability to breathe***my loving Heavenly Father***a workable relationship with my earthly father***loving and being loved***sparkliness***starriness***elephants-reminders that God really does have a sense of humor***Charles Michael, for his ability to know me intimately and love me despite myself***Miriam Grace with her compassion and brilliance***Rebecca Ann, for teaching me patience and the value of integrity***Renee Michelle, a living demonsration that people really can change, God willing***Amanda Catherine, with her ability to create a Christmas ornament that distinctly resembles a fetal pig***Kimberly Lynn, for her demonstration that you actually can like your family and for her sense of style***Evan Franklin, my cousin/brother (no, not what you're thinking-honestly, those evil minds...I consider him to be like my brother ;)***occasional Faerie Queene Book 1 dreams***my fuzzy vaccum cleaner, Rosie Jane***books, books, books***Shakespeare's language***freedom to choose with responsibility to choose wisely***reminders of heaven***cooler weather***the beauty (now that I can actually SEE it) of the desert in winter***my mom and stepdad, for showing me that people don't always leave***my father, because I have learned through him to love unconditionally***Vrinda/Brenda, since she and I are different as day and night, but we understand eachother somehow***Tejas, my little brother, for his wicked sense of humor :)***shelter***food***neat clothes in normal sizes that actually fit***only 6 months 'til the wedding***the confusion of realizing that you don't know everything after all***the ability to feel*** :) It's okay if you're confused :) :) :)

Danke Shoen

Mood: Bored (be afraid, be very afraid ;) ) Song: "9 to 5" Today's grateful, strangely enough, is work, where I'm sitting right now typing this oh-so informative post. I am a writing tutor at my local community college, and I couldn't be happier here. The only problem is that students keep expecting me to read their inane papers for their English classes; I mean, really! As if I had time for that with all my e-mailing, phone-calling, and blogging :)! J/K of course (in case my boss is reading this ;) ). I don't know what I would have done without this job during the time when I was composing my thesis (now available in my college library-I'm published!!!!). I have time to work on my studies, and the atmosphere is relaxed. It would only be better if Mircat worked here too :) :) :). N.B. 1: Notice how I did NOT use the new cover sheet for TPS reports on this posting :P N.B. 2: I think someone's trying to take my stapler...

Efcharasto

Mood: Friendly Song: "Friends" by Michael W. Smith Grateful #2 I am so blessed by the tremendous friendships I've gained during my 24 years. I am not the type of person to be a social butterfly; in fact, I consider myself a kind of social gnat. Even so, God has brought people into my life to sharpen me and make me over into his image. These individuals, and they should know who they are, deserve my loyal love, which is what I ever strive to give. They are all different, these friends of mine, and each is incredible. I do not deserve thier friendship, but I have it anyway. Marriage may be how God chose to represent his love for us, and in its self-sacrifice this may or may not be true (I'll let you know after May 28th :) ). Regardless, friendship also has a touch of the divine in it--of all the loves we have, friendship is the most like God's love for us in that it is unnecessary and even superflous at times. We CHOOSE friendships, unlike family members or (sometimes) even mates. Thus, there is something fragile and delicate about friendship relationships, and they can be shattered in an instant with a careless word. I wrote my thesis on friendship in marriage, and so I must state that I believe friendship can, and in fact should, exist in marriage as well. Here's the classical definition (hinted at in several of my other postings): Amicitia aequalitas est. Amicus alter ipse. There, I think that's all cleared up now :). Okay, okay *sound of arm being twisted*, you talked me into it; Friendship is equality-a friend is a second self. Friends mirror each other, and the closeness of true friendship is severed only in death. I always get a kick out of the strange tale of John Adams and Thomas Jefferson (thank you, Mrs. Perl, AP US History teacher). Both men signed the Declaration of Independence, and were, at one time, close companions. Politics divided them, but towards the end of their lives they reestablished their bond. In fact, Adams's last words, spoken on July 4, 1826, 50th Anniversary of the signing of the Declaration, were, "Jefferson still lives". Ironically, in his bed at Monticello, Jefferson was also breathing his last and died on the exact same day. May I never wait that long to tell my friends how much they mean to me! I hope that every conversation ends in such a way that I would not regret what may be the last words I speak to them. Friendship also involves transparency, and this is a concept I struggle with daily. How do you remain completely open to another person, especially when you're not sure about what you're really feeling anyway? Honestly, I have no idea, but I intend to strive for honest, open communication. In the name of honesty, then: There are some friendships which to me seem fundamentally unhealthy. These friendships err based on a disordered love. We are to love God first; anything else is either a perversion, a deficiency, or an excess of love directed at secondary objects. There-I've just summarized the entirety of Dante's Purgatorio, and you don't even have to journey through Hell first ;). Friendship, just like any other love, can become disordered. I can think of one example in my own life, and one at least in th e life of a friend. The friendship relationship becomes twisted when a friend becomes a god. Yes, I know it sounds wierd, but I have witnessed it. Holding on to friendship long past the point when it can be healthy is devastating; that, too, have I witnessed. It is excruciating, but unless certain friendships are cut off, burned away, and otherwise demolished, they can in no way be restored. Allowed to fully die, they can be resurrected in such a way that they are, while the same friendship, something fantastical ond otherwise impossible. Don't take it from me, read The Four Loves by C.S. Lewis. So, in the spirit of friendship and gratefulness, let me reiterate that my friends have loved me through some battles, and I can't wait to see what the coming years will bring.

Grazzie

This post begins my list of "gratefuls", to be continued throughout this Thanksgiving week. I'm sure you already knew this, but Thanksgiving wasn't officially a national holiday until the Civil War, when Lincoln set the last Thursday in November apart for remembering. In all ways, Thanksgiving was a time to express gratitude to God, from whom all blessings flow (note the use of the objective case for the preceding pronoun) and thus I begin (this is the lit major in me) with a poem. God of our fathers, known of old, Lord of our far-flung battle-line, Beneath whose awful Hand we hold Dominion over palm and pine-- Lord God of hosts, be with us yet, Lest we forget-lest we forget. The tumult and the shouting dies; The captains and the kings depart: Still stands Thine ancient sacrifice, An humble and a contrite heart. Lord God of Hosts, be with us yet, Lest we forget-lest we forget! Far called, our navies melt away; On dune and headland sinks the fire: Lo, all our pomp of yesterday Is one with Nineveh and Tyre! Judge of the Nations, spare us yet, Lest we forget-lest we forget! If drunk with sight of power, we loose Wild tongues that have not Thee in awe, Such boastings as the Gentiles use, Or lesser breeds without the Law- Lord God of Hosts, be with us yet, Lest we forget-lest we forget! For heathen heart that puts her trust In reeking tube and iron shard, All valient dust that builds on dust, And guarding, calls not Thee to guard, For frantic boast and foolish word- Have mercy on Thy People, Lord. Rudyard Kipling "Recessional" 1897 I am, above all, grateful that my Lord, who has no reason to take notice of me, poor and weak as I am, has seen fit to love me. His love is all-consuming, undeserved but demanding all, but he is gentle, oh, so gentle.